


Ready or Not

by Tippy152



Category: Never Have I Ever (TV)
Genre: Awkwardness, Established Relationship, F/M, First Time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:54:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26316757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tippy152/pseuds/Tippy152
Summary: Devi has been ready to lose her virginity for a while now, and she knows that it's definitely the right time.
Relationships: Ben Gross/Devi Vishwakumar
Kudos: 60





	Ready or Not

Devi knows she’ll have to be the one to make the next move. For as confident and cocky as Ben Gross has been for all the years she’s known him, she’s quickly realising that it was all an act. Just a front that he no longer puts up when it’s just the two of them. No, instead he’s sweet and gentle, and unfortunately, just as sexually inexperienced as she is. Which is not ideal considering what she wants. A small part of her wishes he’d don that false bravado once more and take the lead here. She is ready for this to happen, has been for a long time, and she can _feel_ through their pants that he wants it too.

It’s the middle of the afternoon on a Saturday and her mom is out with Kamala, so she and Ben are taking the opportunity to be at her house, in her room, in her bed.

They’re getting closer. Their shirts were both tossed unceremoniously by her bedroom door moments after they entered her room, each of them working in a hurry to get their hands back on the other. And she loves this, the feeling of their bodies pressed together, her fingertips exploring every inch of skin available to them, and his doing almost the same. But she does want more.

Ben’s hands press against the small of her back. They tug at her thigh and get tangled in her hair. His hands curl around her ribcage, cup her breasts and ghost over her nipples. Her bra came off for the first time last week. But there is one area that has remained an imaginary do-not-touch zone for his hands.

In a moment of pure embarrassment, but desperate need to know what was going on his head, she had once asked him why it didn’t seem like he wanted to go further. Ben had said that he didn’t want to rush her, and besides, he just really likes kissing her so he was okay with waiting. But didn’t he get that she didn’t need him to wait? Did she have to come right out and say it? It was a good thing she likes kissing him too.

Right now she’s grinding down on his thigh. Ben’s thrusting up against her hip. His hands slip down her back, stuttering to a stop right before they meet the waistband of her shorts, and the space they’ve left is cold. The tension sends a shiver down her spine and he has to feel it. But his hands just make their way back up instead of going further south, and his mouth on hers still feels amazing, but she breaks away, because this is it, she’s going to say it.

“So, are we going to fuck?” she asks sitting back on his leg, tossing back her long dark hair. It would be embarrassing to admit she’s practiced that move, but whatever. She’s pretty sure it looks sexy, or at least it does when movie stars do it, so there.

“What?” Ben stares up with a flabbergasted expression on his face. It reminds her a lot of the way he looks at her in class when she says something no one was expecting.

“Do you want to have sex? It doesn’t have to be a big deal,” Devi says, moving off of him and sitting back on her feet.

Ben pushes himself up so he’s sitting too. “Not a big deal?” he says, incredulous. “Devi, I’ve told you, I haven’t, I mean, you know, I’m a virgin,” he finally gets out nervously. “You’ve never done it before either.” His last statement rises uncomfortably like a question.

“I know what I haven’t done,” she snaps.

“We haven’t really talked about it,” Ben continues.

“What’s there to talk about?” Devi crosses her arms over her chest. This is already more of a conversation than it really requires. They weren’t supposed to schedule this. It was supposed to happen naturally, in the moment, but Ben wasn’t seeming to get that. “So do you want to or not?”

“Of course I do, Devi, but,” Ben stops when he catches her gaze. “Okay, yes. You sure don’t pull any punches.”

“You already knew that about me,” Devi says, uncrossing her arms. “Now get out a condom.”

“How do you know I have one?” Ben asks. But he stands up to pull his wallet out from his back pocket.

Devi gets up to push her shorts and underwear off before sitting back on her bed while Ben is busy digging through his wallet and not looking at her.

He turns around, condom in hand, and stops in his tracks.

“What are you looking at?” Devi squirms.

“You. You’re gorgeous.”

“Oh.” She doesn’t know what the appropriate response to the reverent tone of his voice is. “Well, get on with it.”

Suddenly she’s nervous. Way more nervous than she ever thought she could be with Ben, so she adds, “I mean, if you want to. Like, I’m not trying to force you into having sex with me. So, if you want to wait—”

“Do you want to wait?” Ben cuts into her rambling.

“No,” she answers honestly.

“Okay. I don’t either.” And then he’s fumbling towards her, pushing his jeans and boxer briefs down, nearly tripping over them in all his haste. She’s glad his back was turned when she took hers off. She has no clue if there’s a sexy way to do that.

Devi leans back, resting her weight on her hands, sitting at the end of the bed. Ben stops when he gets to her. He can’t get the condom open and is muttering ‘tear here my ass’ before using his teeth to finally rip open the packaging.

“Just sit down and let me handle it,” Devi says, seeing that he’s getting frustrated. She takes the condom from him and then grabs his hip. She pulls him onto her bed and guides him so he’s leaning back against the headboard.

He goes where she wants him with only a modicum of grumbling. “If you’d filled me in on your plan I would have practiced.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Devi teases as she leans over him.

“I’d have liked to avoid looking like an idiot,” Ben says.

“Stop complaining, you’re about to get laid.” Devi has a point. She wishes her hands were a little steadier, but still she manages to roll it on him without issue, letting her memories of those horrible sex ed lessons with the banana guide her. She notices his breath catch as her hands move on him and she feels her heart begin to race.

“How do you want to do this?” Ben asks.

“Just stay there.” Devi straddles his lap, hands on his shoulders. She stills for a second, looks at him, and when he gives her a timid smile she sinks down a little, and then a little more. She stops.

It’s big, bigger than her fingers could have ever prepared her for. Everywhere they’re touching – his shoulders under her hands, his thighs against her calves – she can feel him trembling with the effort to not thrust the rest of the way into her.

“Devi, I—” Ben chokes off. “You—you’ve got to do something.”

“It’s big.” She really means ‘it hurts’ but she doesn’t want to show weakness.

“You don’t need to start flattering me now,” Ben says, the levity of his words coming out forced.

“Like I would.” Devi rolls her eyes, hoping it comes off cool, but highly doubting it. If she stays very still, it’s almost okay.

“Just—let me,” Ben starts, never quite getting the words out, instead in one move he sits up, wrapping his arms around her, sinking the rest of the way in.

And “ow, ow, ow, ow, ow,” cuts off his attempt to kiss her. She can’t help it.

“Shit, sorry,” he moves back, forward, without going anywhere, “I’m sorry.”

“Just stop moving.”

Ben stops, arms wrapped around her. She’s taller than him like this, but her back is bowed, forehead resting on his shoulder. Devi focuses on breathing in and out, slow and steady. She blinks and her eyes focus. She can see down his chest, his stomach to where they’re joined. They’re really doing this.

As the rushing in her head clears, Devi realizes Ben’s talking. “God, you’re so gorgeous. You don’t even realize how pretty you are with your eyes and your jokes and your smile,” a constant stream of babbling in her ear. She’s not sure if his intention is to comfort her but the result is the same and she appreciates it.

She picks her head up to kiss him, to stop him, and hopefully distract herself. Ben meets her eagerly and groans into her mouth, uncoordinated and sloppy. He doesn’t shut up, choking out all his favourite things about her every time their mouths break apart and finally allowing his hands to explore her body freely.

His hips are hitching up now in tiny, desperate moves kept in check by her weight on top of him.

Devi thinks this might not be so bad if she can just unclench her hands from Ben’s biceps and rub at her clit. She doesn’t get to find out. Ben tenses up beneath her, his words cutting off in a strangled noise as he comes. He looks embarrassed and apologetic, and so Devi quickly looks away.

She rolls off him, disengaging as awkward and uncomfortable as getting on, suddenly empty and hollow. She rolls away from him, wrapping her arms around herself, cold now that they’re not touching. Ben had been right. This wasn’t exactly no big deal.

“Hey,” Ben says, putting a tentative hand on her shoulder.

“What?” Devi asks. If he asks if she’s okay, she’s going to kill him.

Ben stays silent. He rolls up behind her, puts an arm around her so they’re spooning. She supposes that this is okay. They stay like that for some indeterminable length of time, their phones on the other side of the room so she can’t check.

“Hey,” Ben says again. Devi makes a noise of encouragement and he continues. “Do you want to get cleaned up and go to Thiago’s Kitchen?”

That was Devi’s new favourite restaurant, an Italian place that had recently popped up across town. Ben wasn’t really a fan.

“Yeah,” Devi says. “That would be nice.” She makes no move to get up. Instead, she curls her hand up to hold Ben’s arm where it’s wrapped against her. “Ben?”

“Mmm?”

Devi continues. “I love you.”

“I know.” She feels him press a light kiss to the back of her shoulder. “I love you too.”


End file.
